Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
