Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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