I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
