part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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