i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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