Me. At least after what I've been through.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I wear drunk well.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
