Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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