I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
