bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
and she was petting her beer can
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
