I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize