It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
