you have to choose: penises or morals?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
