it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
