Michael Bay diarrhea
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
