This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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