I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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