I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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