Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We left the knife in your bed.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
