I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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