My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
