imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
