It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
