So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
