i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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