I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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