ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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