my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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