you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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