Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I cockslap morals
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
