Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it was like eating out sand paper
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
