Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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