i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
