u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
