idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
