would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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