In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize