i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Bring me that man meat
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize