Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
