she woke up with a sticky ear
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
