Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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