I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
