My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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