she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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