i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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