Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
