you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize