So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
