So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize