I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
