Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
