Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
