I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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