so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
why do cheetos always look like penises
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
