what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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