she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
