ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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