I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
