you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize