so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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