I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
