Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
