I think my fart just growled at me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
