Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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