I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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