Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
