I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
