No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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