In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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