he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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