Buhtt sex?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
